Gorgeous Man Seeks Ugly Woman

I'm tired of dating beautiful yet shallow women, who only go out with me because I am extremely good-looking.

When I go out for beers with my friends (who are better, more interesting people than I), hot women will approach only me -- never my friends. I'm sick of it. So I resolve to date only ugly women. I don't care if you're fat, handicapped, a burn victim, old, or Puerto-Rican. You just have to have a great personality. Please send a photo so I can be sure you're not a supermodel.

Please respond with UGLY in the subject line so I know you're not a spammer.

Even Puerto Rican girls, huh? Well, that's mighty white of you. Your momma must be so proud.

And the cat you rode in on!

Fuck you and your pay-per-view pussy!!! - 37 (Prontown)

Seriously! Fucking seriously, I will pay $20 to any live girl that meets me for coffee in any borough of the Portland metro area. That's right, if you're in Oregon city, I'll come to your local coffee shop and pay you 20 fucking dollars just for being a real god damn woman. Hell I'll even buy your god damn skinny hazelnut machiato fucking drink. I am so sick of these fucktard spambots and join my webcam site bitches. Seriously, are there any real women on here? Any??? (over 18 only please)

About time someone recognized my worth as a real god damn woman! Meet me at Peet's in 20....

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT LONELYNESS IS

HERE I AM,IM 43,WHEN MY DAD DIED 10 YEARS AGO MY BROTHER CAME UP HERE AND MOVED MY MOM DOWN TO NEVADA.ALL I HAVE IS MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.THATS IT.I HAVE NO FRIENDS BECAUSE WHEN I KICKED MY GIRLFRIEND OF 6 YEARS OUT WHAT FRIENDS I HAD TOOK HER SIDE.SO I HAVE NO ONE AT ALL.IM JUST A DECENT GUY LOOKING FOR A DECENT WOMAN,NOT ALOT TO ASK.IM NOT VIOLENT OR A RAPIST OR A STALKER.JUST ONE OF THE DECENT ONES LEFT.I LOVE MUSIC AND SEEING BANDS AND OTHER STUFF BUT NOT GOING TO GET INTO THAT NOW.IF YOU MESSAGE ME PLEASE INCLUDE A PHONE NUMBER SO I KNOW YOU ARE REAL,SO AM I.THANKS FOR READING.


Ever have those nights when you're home alone, drinking Arbor Mist and going to town with the Ped-Egg while watching The Muppet Show on Youtube? Feel better about yourself now? That's what the internet is for, dearies. Reminding us that no matter how lame we are...there's always someone lamer.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Kiddiewinks, today is a banner day. Your Auntie has unearthed some serious li-ter-a-CHURE.

'please read' temptations arise by a hopeless romantic (passionet in oregon)

I never writen a poem befor so please dont laff ok you can if you want to i think its not very good

temptations arise heart aik and pain subsadize

fame and fortune come and go matters of the heart live on we know searching for or soulmates going on many dates lost in this unaverse full of love and pain sometime i think we all go aliitle insane matters of the heart never fade they always stay the same longing for that warm embrace as you slowly touch ones face a gentle kiss to ones lips softly yet passionet as are hearts reach for the moon and are souls see shooting stars two people fall inlove like a soring white dove happyn ess is to bee if only we can see o wont you come to me my princes to be your truly a hopeless romantic

Awww, honey, that's, um, real nice.

just one of my thoughts - 30

LOnely side of the road,back , bent, broken, the sun has taken it's toll,,,, now the clouds cry and weep, to tir ed to get up ,, back on his feet, looks to the sky ask why , no reply clouds just cry , highway lonely place written all over his face , tumble weed blowing in the wind tossed around a gain again, and again, nowhere called home so alone I roam north east south west no direction I like best , so i collapes, lie there coverd with dust ddig me up , was it a treasure you fou nd or just something that grew died feel to the ground,, but still hope that one day his angel will appear tame me far from here , from all the noise , just my angels voice saying , close your eyes my dear , for I am your angel , and I am here............................................................................ any angels out there.....

Whoa there, cowboy, step away from the Precious Moments porn.

A Nubian Queen...

I would like to meet a pretty black female 2 5-35 yrs. old. I think you will find me to be a good looking white guy, and I have have dated black women previously. Enjoy the poem below. Please respond with a pic and I will send mine. Thank you.

Corn rows & mealie silk...
Why do you suffer the look of my eyes
with such intent/ does their brutal blue
inspire you somehow? Why do you
flaunt the curves of your brown body
to the whip of my stare/ does it make you
a star? There's your mind whose soul,
like the singing wind, can never be
possessed/ beauty is no excuse for love/
with crimson and mocha, let's fashion this
union, and bond in a mosaic ampersand/
let my white sea trap the isles of your eyes,
and your sun's vitamin thaw the polar caps
about me/ let's do it now, feeding from
one another, whatever may come.

Ok, she's not quite a queen yet, but may I suggest Princess?
She's a terrific asset, and even has modeling experience!

And srsly, "flaunt the curves of your brown body to the whip of my stare"? Way to creepily fetishize the brutal enslavement of millions, dude.

Sometimes you just make me sad...

Y'all, I went looking for guys tonight. Maybe it's just getting near my Special Princess Time, but all the ads just make me want to cry.

Idiot seeking someone - 20

My name’s Steve. I’m a pathetic little loser with no prospects, no purpose, and no real reason to get up in the morning. I’m looking for a special someone.

Please Someone Like Me - 27

I'm desperate. No woman wants me. I can't really blame them. Please anyone...

to the womans that answered my ad (fishing for tuna)

Ty for all the lovely pictures of the ironing boards but no i don't want to go to another site to see them.No the house does not have a security system or curtains.Why do you think i want you to move in.Please when responding next time include your phone number.I am a pecker not a typer,so it would be easier on my pecker just to call you.Please help me to save my pecker by including your phone number.The house is located in bustling gainsville beside a fish man that will call you sexy names.ty for your reponses and for helping me to save my pecker

By the way, if you image search "tuna pecker" you get about what you'd expect...

flag all you im still looking - 31

looking for a lady that is ok with me wearring diapersi am looking for a good woman that is ok with me wearring diapers from time to time its not a baby thing just a way for me to relive some stress and a little controll of thise world around me .Iam 31 6.0" short blond brown hair gotee blue eyes around 215# i like doing most of the regular things such as movies camping cuddling on the couch and i can cook real good hopping to find someone that is ok with the way i relive stress if your intrested or have questions i would love to hear from you yes i have a pic and will trade fore yours i didnt post one not every one is ok with this so i try to keep it to myself and the ones that are ok with it

Now, your Auntie cannot deny that she needs to relieve (but not relive, FFS!) some stress from time to time. BUT I DRINK SOME ARBOR MIST AND LOOK AT KITTENS ON THE INTERNET LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!




But I do have to give the adult babies props for having their own gang sign:

need all women size 8 - 38

Need good looking women, in general size 8 in paticular, have like 15 pairs of jeans to sell all major brands levis ect. all perfect condition, 15 bucks a pair, and if you look real good will make you a deal, you can't refuse.bobby




Meth-head and mom jeans? I am all over that. Maybe Bobby can come between me and my Calvins...