Word Salad - 46

Salad hyenas used before characterizations with mutes and muses alike.
Intuitive, Regional, clandestine and forensic with natural tendencies to forgo the precluded.
Never the only, and not yet the foremost, taken with salt and blemish as are we as we are...
Fortune's smiles and maybe not have befallen down upon your knees knowing rising up is the only answer,
having forgotten the question. Fragments from Venues and Venus either yearning with tartar covered
steak tar tare or some such.
Majestic, future, forlorn and with due respect to the ninja.
You know who you ARE!!!



I do know who I am! And it's someone with no wish to be covered in steak tartare or any other meat.

Thanks to Miss Plumcake for the awesome Mr. Salad.

DESIGNER BOOT IS WHAT SHE WERE'S..... - 40

stomp's her feet like she doesn't care
the wink in her eye tell's the truth
while telling me i should of know it
dancing in the street like a child
dreaming of the day's when she was wild
to bee by my side for the last mile
now at peace she home for a while

PS no pic no reply and
put area in subject



Yes, my little chickadees, your Aunty Jane is back.

I am saving a place at the table for you : ~) - 57 (SW Burbs ONLY)

I am saving a place at the table for you : ~) - 57 (SW Burbs ONLY)

Throughout history many have said, “Confession is Good for the Soul”. (((LOL))) … However whoever started that saying, has never posted a personal ad on CL before, as that activity can often be compared to a Person Death Wish, … so don’t expect anything too deep here from me (((LOL))).

Furthermore … let’s all start with a valuable piece of communication. If you read an ad that really isn’t asking for you; almost by name, please move on quietly as that writer just did you a favor by not wasting your time.

~~~ Things That May or May NOT Work For Me Are ~~~

[ ] If you are NOT naturally happy, healthy and funny; because I am, … do us both a favor ~ Go Away!

[ ] If you are wearing granny panties RIGHT NOW, have ever owned more than One Pair of Birkenstocks at any one time or “Smiled Warmly” when someone used the term: BBW (need I really say what that actually means to the guys) while describing you, … that clearly speaks volumes … Go Away!

[ ] If you have ever told anyone; with Great Pride, that you might have prepared for 6-wks. before taking a simple on the spur of the moment trip up to Seattle for possibly just a 3-day weekend … Just Go ~ Go Away and please stop talking about how you simply love the beach, traveling … etc!

[ ] If you live on the eastside of the Willamette River and/or within Portland City limits, … Go Away!

[ ] If are just too darn old and slow to ever happily climb up onto the back of a nice motorcycle with a smile; that is not my fault, … Go Away, … don’t look back, and may you soon be remembered by your friends and family well at your upcoming passing with a nice smile!

[ ] If you think that being asked to be the next Bingo Captain/Caller on Wednesday nights at the local church is something to look forward to in life, … Please go Away; as I will never be that old!

[ ] If you thought it was Progressively cool; and very~very trendy too, to join the second-coming of the Jim Jones Democrap Family party in Washington DC … you are on your own in my opinion (((LOL)))!!!

[ ] If; just to add a little more, you haven’t earned your place at the table, … and you can only live within a world where the Obamanation has to cut the legs off of honest, hard working Americans so you can be “seen” as their equal … that is really pathetic! Q: Why should I hand you ½ of my earnings; via your party’s abusive taxes, while you pay nothing at all, while pretending that your progressive socialism is what made America great. Keep in mind, we both have a right to be Free Americans; to do our very best everyday and nothing more. However that does not mean that you have the right to stick your hand in my pocket just whenever you feel like it ~ Get it!

Well, … there is more; there is (((always))) more when it comes to me, and yet the above should get the conversation going. The usual appropriate NONs apply and (((No PIC/ No Chat))) is required too. As for the 95% or more of those that this ad does not speak; directly, to keep your chin up, your heart open and don’t stop looking, as there is hopefully someone out there for you too. Take care : ~)

Dude, I just don't even...I mean, I bet you're all hairy and dandruffy and fallout-sheltery, and fuck, man, you're making me feel all Holden Caulfield over here. And that is not a good look at my age.

Why do all the good guys finish last??? - 22 (Salem)

I mean exactly what I say, why do we finish last as nice guys. When did it become not cool to comment on how nice a lady looks or open the door for her, or fall asleep talking to her on the phone. This is me in a nutshell. I see couples walking around all the time with the boyfriend being a complete douchebag. I don't get it. Yeah i'm not the best looking guy in the world, but i put forth the effort to make sure that you're happy. My name is Jason, and my friends say I try to be the asshole but deep down in the teddy bear. Bad boy? Yes. Good guy? Yes. I would like to think that i'm a combination of all personalities. Fun, happy, sad, mad, ecsentric, outgoing, shy, whatever. Look i'm not here to make myself out to be the best. But i will try my hardest. I love all kinds of music, Fall Out Boy, Manu Chou, Rocky Horror Picture Show, i could go on but i could go forever.....that's what she said! Anyways i love to go out and experience something new everyday, whether its a different way home or just doing my job differently. I like to go get the occasional drink at the bar or sit in my backyard with a beer and a smoke. Yes i smoke cigerettes, although i am 420 friendly as well. Anyways, if you wanna know more, i am an open book so just ask, i just wanna meet someone who is chill and relaxed, who likes to go out or stay under the covers and cuddle. That wont judge me. That laugh alot and just be themselves. AND PLEASE PUT IN YOUR SUBJECT LINE WHAT YOUR FAVORITE BAND IS PLEEEEASE

Kids, your Auntie was a child in Salem. And it was a glorious place to be a child-- wonderful parks, libraries, safe streets to play.... I moved away when I was eleven.

Whenever I meet someone who grew up there they always say "Yeah, there's just nothing to do but beer and meth." So that's why you're finishing last, Jason. YOU'RE IN FUCKING SALEM. And we won't even mention the doucheface. Go Away!

Star seed looking for his other half

Star seed looking for his other half - 26 (Earth)

We are all 'star seeds', or 'star people' as we all have lived in many realities in many planetary systems and in higher realms as other life forms. So here we are, star seeds, souls sparks on a mission, trapped for NOW in a physical experience.

Starseeds allegedly seed planets with information and spiritual frequency when one cycle of time is about to end and another begin. As planetary frequency increases, so too does their levels of awareness, and need to help others, and return to their natural state of being, a soul spark of light.

There is little connection to the mainstream systems of society, religious, political or economic. Creativity is the key to spiritual fulfillment and mission.

Many prefer to work only in the esoteric fields - healing, searching for their own truths and their soul mission through studying systems of higher wisdom, writing their biographies as a means of clearing issues and understanding their work here and now.

They await a great awakening the evolution of consciousness through the alchemy of time. They know that no one has the date for us to move into levels of higher frequency but their souls tell them that it is on the horizon. They are programmed to find others like themselves, as based on similar frequencies and predestined agendas.......................

I know your out there, I feel it. If Any one understands this AT ALL. Contact me.

All we have is NOW

It's true! I am writing my biography as a means of clearing issues! Such as how it really is all my mother's fault, and how my ex-boyfriend is a massive tool, rather than having one. I'm really looking forward to having this all sorted.

OMG, you guys! This is your Auntie Jane's soul mission. I WILL WRITE AN EPIC BIOGRAPHY TO CLEAR UP ALL THE WAYS THAT I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG.

Starseed, thank you for sharing this galactically awesome wisdom with me.

person of interest is interested in you - 56 (give attention get attention)

person of interest is interested in you - 56 (give attention get attention)

I am writing to just you. Why? You are the only one here. You are the one funny, smart, nice woman all wrapped up in a Tiffphony box on C/L.
Me? The luckiest guy in the world to spend time with you.
Gooble. Gooble.
You will see me at the parade. I will be my own float.

1) I have to say, Tiffphony is GENIUS. We all know those women, am I right?

2) Gooble? This just makes me think of turkey time in Gigli. Bleargh.

3) Aren't we all our own floats, really, when it comes right down to it?

Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner

Another lame round-up post, sorry kiddiewinks. School's kicking my butt this term. Anyhoo..

I want to smell you fart - 30

Hi, I am fairly new to the area, attractive guy, 30, and would like to find a fun woman to enjoy time with.

Seriously, dude? That's the best you can do?

38 Years Old Never Kissed a Girl - 39

Looking for a Woman, must be at Least 28 Years old and Less than 50.

Must posses a Mountain Bike or something similar for easy rides up and down the Fire roads of Forest Park.

Must like to have Beer afterwards or enjoy a good glass of wine or take a 420 break, it doesn't bother me.

I think I'm gonna need something stronger than a beer.

chrastian man - 41

I like to go to church, I love God. I have jus t finished my first Book it is about about Jesus. I like to ride horses, quads, and spend time out doors. if you like what you see sofar drop me a line.

Honey, sweetie, darlin', don't you think if you're such a good Christian, maybe you should learn how to spell it?

For extra schadenfreude, all these men are from my actual dating pool!

Gorgeous Man Seeks Ugly Woman

I'm tired of dating beautiful yet shallow women, who only go out with me because I am extremely good-looking.

When I go out for beers with my friends (who are better, more interesting people than I), hot women will approach only me -- never my friends. I'm sick of it. So I resolve to date only ugly women. I don't care if you're fat, handicapped, a burn victim, old, or Puerto-Rican. You just have to have a great personality. Please send a photo so I can be sure you're not a supermodel.

Please respond with UGLY in the subject line so I know you're not a spammer.

Even Puerto Rican girls, huh? Well, that's mighty white of you. Your momma must be so proud.

And the cat you rode in on!

Fuck you and your pay-per-view pussy!!! - 37 (Prontown)

Seriously! Fucking seriously, I will pay $20 to any live girl that meets me for coffee in any borough of the Portland metro area. That's right, if you're in Oregon city, I'll come to your local coffee shop and pay you 20 fucking dollars just for being a real god damn woman. Hell I'll even buy your god damn skinny hazelnut machiato fucking drink. I am so sick of these fucktard spambots and join my webcam site bitches. Seriously, are there any real women on here? Any??? (over 18 only please)

About time someone recognized my worth as a real god damn woman! Meet me at Peet's in 20....

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT LONELYNESS IS

HERE I AM,IM 43,WHEN MY DAD DIED 10 YEARS AGO MY BROTHER CAME UP HERE AND MOVED MY MOM DOWN TO NEVADA.ALL I HAVE IS MY 14 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.THATS IT.I HAVE NO FRIENDS BECAUSE WHEN I KICKED MY GIRLFRIEND OF 6 YEARS OUT WHAT FRIENDS I HAD TOOK HER SIDE.SO I HAVE NO ONE AT ALL.IM JUST A DECENT GUY LOOKING FOR A DECENT WOMAN,NOT ALOT TO ASK.IM NOT VIOLENT OR A RAPIST OR A STALKER.JUST ONE OF THE DECENT ONES LEFT.I LOVE MUSIC AND SEEING BANDS AND OTHER STUFF BUT NOT GOING TO GET INTO THAT NOW.IF YOU MESSAGE ME PLEASE INCLUDE A PHONE NUMBER SO I KNOW YOU ARE REAL,SO AM I.THANKS FOR READING.


Ever have those nights when you're home alone, drinking Arbor Mist and going to town with the Ped-Egg while watching The Muppet Show on Youtube? Feel better about yourself now? That's what the internet is for, dearies. Reminding us that no matter how lame we are...there's always someone lamer.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Kiddiewinks, today is a banner day. Your Auntie has unearthed some serious li-ter-a-CHURE.

'please read' temptations arise by a hopeless romantic (passionet in oregon)

I never writen a poem befor so please dont laff ok you can if you want to i think its not very good

temptations arise heart aik and pain subsadize

fame and fortune come and go matters of the heart live on we know searching for or soulmates going on many dates lost in this unaverse full of love and pain sometime i think we all go aliitle insane matters of the heart never fade they always stay the same longing for that warm embrace as you slowly touch ones face a gentle kiss to ones lips softly yet passionet as are hearts reach for the moon and are souls see shooting stars two people fall inlove like a soring white dove happyn ess is to bee if only we can see o wont you come to me my princes to be your truly a hopeless romantic

Awww, honey, that's, um, real nice.

just one of my thoughts - 30

LOnely side of the road,back , bent, broken, the sun has taken it's toll,,,, now the clouds cry and weep, to tir ed to get up ,, back on his feet, looks to the sky ask why , no reply clouds just cry , highway lonely place written all over his face , tumble weed blowing in the wind tossed around a gain again, and again, nowhere called home so alone I roam north east south west no direction I like best , so i collapes, lie there coverd with dust ddig me up , was it a treasure you fou nd or just something that grew died feel to the ground,, but still hope that one day his angel will appear tame me far from here , from all the noise , just my angels voice saying , close your eyes my dear , for I am your angel , and I am here............................................................................ any angels out there.....

Whoa there, cowboy, step away from the Precious Moments porn.

A Nubian Queen...

I would like to meet a pretty black female 2 5-35 yrs. old. I think you will find me to be a good looking white guy, and I have have dated black women previously. Enjoy the poem below. Please respond with a pic and I will send mine. Thank you.

Corn rows & mealie silk...
Why do you suffer the look of my eyes
with such intent/ does their brutal blue
inspire you somehow? Why do you
flaunt the curves of your brown body
to the whip of my stare/ does it make you
a star? There's your mind whose soul,
like the singing wind, can never be
possessed/ beauty is no excuse for love/
with crimson and mocha, let's fashion this
union, and bond in a mosaic ampersand/
let my white sea trap the isles of your eyes,
and your sun's vitamin thaw the polar caps
about me/ let's do it now, feeding from
one another, whatever may come.

Ok, she's not quite a queen yet, but may I suggest Princess?
She's a terrific asset, and even has modeling experience!

And srsly, "flaunt the curves of your brown body to the whip of my stare"? Way to creepily fetishize the brutal enslavement of millions, dude.

Sometimes you just make me sad...

Y'all, I went looking for guys tonight. Maybe it's just getting near my Special Princess Time, but all the ads just make me want to cry.

Idiot seeking someone - 20

My name’s Steve. I’m a pathetic little loser with no prospects, no purpose, and no real reason to get up in the morning. I’m looking for a special someone.

Please Someone Like Me - 27

I'm desperate. No woman wants me. I can't really blame them. Please anyone...

to the womans that answered my ad (fishing for tuna)

Ty for all the lovely pictures of the ironing boards but no i don't want to go to another site to see them.No the house does not have a security system or curtains.Why do you think i want you to move in.Please when responding next time include your phone number.I am a pecker not a typer,so it would be easier on my pecker just to call you.Please help me to save my pecker by including your phone number.The house is located in bustling gainsville beside a fish man that will call you sexy names.ty for your reponses and for helping me to save my pecker

By the way, if you image search "tuna pecker" you get about what you'd expect...

flag all you im still looking - 31

looking for a lady that is ok with me wearring diapersi am looking for a good woman that is ok with me wearring diapers from time to time its not a baby thing just a way for me to relive some stress and a little controll of thise world around me .Iam 31 6.0" short blond brown hair gotee blue eyes around 215# i like doing most of the regular things such as movies camping cuddling on the couch and i can cook real good hopping to find someone that is ok with the way i relive stress if your intrested or have questions i would love to hear from you yes i have a pic and will trade fore yours i didnt post one not every one is ok with this so i try to keep it to myself and the ones that are ok with it

Now, your Auntie cannot deny that she needs to relieve (but not relive, FFS!) some stress from time to time. BUT I DRINK SOME ARBOR MIST AND LOOK AT KITTENS ON THE INTERNET LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!




But I do have to give the adult babies props for having their own gang sign:

need all women size 8 - 38

Need good looking women, in general size 8 in paticular, have like 15 pairs of jeans to sell all major brands levis ect. all perfect condition, 15 bucks a pair, and if you look real good will make you a deal, you can't refuse.bobby




Meth-head and mom jeans? I am all over that. Maybe Bobby can come between me and my Calvins...

Jesus Man - 29 (In the middle of your heart!)

I love Jesus! I love Children, and I love toms! Especially Gray Toms!!!!! Seriously. Jesus is amazing! PTL for Toms, and My life is children. Youth ministry all the way!

Listen, ducks, your Auntie Jane has a confession. I did not have the faintest idea what a Gray Tom was when it was at home. First my mind went, as it so often does, to pussy...



Then to some weird sex act that I couldn't quite picture, possibly involving a sootikin...



But when I couldn't find anything on urbandictionary.com, I heaved my mind out of the gutter and realized it was a shoe.




Thanks for getting me all worked up over nothing, Jesus Man!

Also, while google-imaging for a good Jesus-suffering-the-little-brats figurine, I discovered that you can buy all sorts of goodies for the Jesus Man in your life at My Special Place. Jesus...My Special Place...hmm, haven't seen The Exorcist in a while...

Want Your Cure before the New Depression Blues? Try out Country Carl - 45

Want Your Cure before the New Depression Blues? Try out Country Carl

WOMEN I have been through - You can google me up
under COUNTRY CARL or go to CountryCarl dot Com
to see more Photos

You can also use the E-mail address on the Web Site
ALWAYS SEND a PHOTO for sure... I'M NOT BLIND

1) No dunken melancholy drama queens who go to court

2) No sleepless druggies who's friends never leave

3) No more than one small car load of kids

4) No wrecking my car or giant mystery dents

5) No hammering my credit cards

6) No pets that won't be friends

7) No partying while I sleep

8) No chain smokers unless you have a humongous fan

9) No collect calls

10) NO YOU can't go ON The ROAD

YES I'm a singer/songwriter and you don't have to
love my music but it is really a good idea to know some of the lyrics
and the names of a few of the songs.

Ladies, Country Carl is the living embodiment of our cultural zeitgeist. If your Auntie Jane weren't currently so busy with the younguns, she'd be all over this fine recession-proof man. Just listen to his song stylings...

Lasagne As A Lubricant - 52

Let your imagination run wild.......I did it- I said it- I meant it- and I'd do it again.....I am an unabashed pasta-a-phile........To heck with walks on the beach- and holding hands in public...That's a bunch of rubish......I utilize Gods given flavors as a reason to roll over- and pooch your hips up- and take it like an Italian(although I'm full Irish-American)........There are SO many things you can do with a noodle.......You can bake it- baste it- paste it- then masticate it.........Left-overs never had it so good.......So if you want to post your fluffy/sappy/whiney self absorbed diatribes on CL hoping to zero in on your incomplete love-list- along with your pre-conceived notions of what "love" is- and your unrealistic expectations of what it takes to win your affections- simply because you've been given a V-shaped patch of fur- then go right ahead.......But if you're looking for "pasta love" - Then look no further....Nothing says "love" like Lasagne.........And to then willingly- and gleefully attend to each other in this most culinarial manner- is to experience that which has yet to be iterated to the masses.........I hope to be a "beacon for sneakin'"- that which is usually left for the following day - In short - I believe Lasagne has many more utilizations than has ever before been considered.....And so I ask you to consider this - I am yours for the bakin'(I mean- "takin'")..........Anyways - Let no Lasagne be left unbunned.......Nothing feels as tintilating as a smack on the back-side- which has been previously slathered with lasagne.....And with that- I'll leave you to your imagination - I know I've got mine......Your pic will certainly accentuate that which I've just intimated.........Bye for now, Lazarus Latimure Lasagmier

Oooh, baybee... I had a little Italian in me last night, and i wouldn't mind doing it again...

Here's my picture:

Awww. Mr. Douchebag!

BRIGHT EYES is giving me a headache-Aritst Wants Muse (Studio of Art)

'Let's Get Lost' ~Chet Baker

This is for the Females who Know...nuff said...


I have been posting on the 'Men Seeking Women' CL for quite some time. But, I have finally figured out what type of woman that I want. I have tried the serious approach and the humorous side of things. I'm throwing out the humor for the serious (for this post). You and I will live the NYC, SAN FRAN, PARIS, BERLIN lifestyle to the tenth degree. How does that sound? Good? Good!

You must be into the ARTS, and you will have that chic/hip/styish vibe going on...like Shannyn Sossoman, Sade, Audrey, Lisa Bonet (post Cosby), and of course part skater chick, part sosphistication. I DON'T want the 'white trash' getting lost thing, I'm too much of a snob for that (my own kind of snobbery). It's the Drugstore Cowboy, My Own Private Idaho, Midnight Cowboy type vibe going on here. Existential, Philosophical, with wit and Intelligence and beauty thrown into one big MAD ride.

Thrift store chic, with Highbrow ideals and ideas. You with me so far? If you're the 'right' chick, you know what I'm talking about. You have seen it in the Foreigin/Indie Films, or have lived it, or fantasized about living it. BUT, this is NO fantasy, this will be real. Do you want to get 'LOST?'

Think of The Cure's 'Pornography' album, Christian Death's first album, the Doors first album, The Swans, and the Velvet Underground. And we'll throw in some Miles, Parker, Coltrane, Massive Attack, Ambient Groove etc.

Intimacy is a must for this relationship to work. Intimacy in the way of trust, loyalty, sincerity, and empathy.


It's not about the next fix, it's about reaching the ethereal heights that THIS life has to offer. BLISS...without Heaven. Back to the womb. Go back to the water where we came from...

This is not the hippie way, this is the Hardcore way. Hardcore Ivy League with Street smarts.

Hi, Mr Douchebag! Good to see you again! Still no luck finding the model/muse/genius with no critical thinking skills of your dreams? I'm sorry, baby. I'll say a little prayer for you the next time I'm in the adorably freckled arms of my 24 year old Spanish/Norwegian banker loooovair...kiss kiss!

Dr.Cosmo Getting Real Honest

Darlings...

I know you get fed up with the long, long posts, but sometimes a man is too delicious to pass up. So for this gent, I will highlight what I feel are his most charming utterances for your reading pleasure, and only the most dedicated need read every word. Now, for Dr. Cosmo:

I've been trying this craigslist thing for about two weeks now without much success, trying to be witty, charming, erudite, and just plain strange frankly. SO, I figured I'd just get real and be as honest as I can. I've always said honesty is the best policy, and it's high time I lived up to that.

I really want a mate, my other half, someone who complements my personality type, and I hers. I was faithfully married for 16 years to a woman 11 years older than I, and we recently divorced each other, long after fledging her 3 teens.

I tried another dating site, singlesnet, and got frustrated with being able to "flirt", but not actually getting to talk with someone without paying an enormous fee. When I got email that directed me to several other "free" dating sites, and I got plugged right back into the sign-up page for singlesnet, I got angry and resigned.

Using deception to sell things is just plain wrong. If the sales pitch is hinky, chances are very good the product is as well. And besides, their matching program is flawed, trying to group me with women around my own age, and that just doesn't work for me.

SO, I came across hornymatches, and thought, hmmmmm, well, I can list my preferences, be open about it, and it won't hurt me to say no, and perhaps I might get to say YES! Oh, and the profile pictures are more interesting as well! :) If you found this ad because you saw my hornymatches handle in the header, HI THERE! Now you have a way to reach me without paying an arm and a leg to do anything more than "wink" at me! ;)

There are a surprising number of people like me, wanting a long term relationship, but are frank about the fact that they have a sex drive. They are being honest that it is an important element in wanting a relationship with someone. The whole guy/gal dance is around that central fact, and the rest is just lifestyle preferences, the things that keep you close, or drive you away from that central issue.

Getting real here. I lied on that site. I am NOT 46 as listed, I'm actually 55. I come from a very slow to age and long-lived genetic stock, and when most people learn of my age, they compare me to ordinary people, that are nearly dead, sickly, and used up at my current chronological age, and I'm just getting started! I didn't put my age in the banner, because you might think I was "normal" and too old for you without checking me out first.

I won't start to sag and wrinkle for another 10 or 15 years, and if my ancestors are any indicator of my future, I will live strong and healthy well into my 80's, and begin to wilt in my 90's, if I don't get killed first slamming my motorcycle into a car running a red light, or my reserve parachute fails to open.

Most of my successful long term relationships have been with older women, because women hit their sexual peak at a much later age than guys (and then they decline as their hormones do). I need someone younger than me now, because I'm still horny as hell, I will be for some time to come, and I want kids.

Being older gives me perspective, knowledge, skills, and a more settled emotional structure, that doesn't need to be insecure or jealous. AND I know every sensual spot on a woman, some she doesn't even know exists! Being trained by older women has advantages! :)

My goal is to find and be with my one true love, and if you want to get closer to me, that should be your goal as well. I am willing to take the test drive, you wouldn't buy a car without doing so, why chose a life partner going into it blind?

Facts: I am arrow straight and large, not a porn star monster, but big enough that there are places I can't go now. There are no virgins in my future, I do NOT like to cause pain! Anal is pretty much out of the question as well, just too damn painful for anyone without a medical problem in that area, and NO, I will NOT send you a picture!

I have mastered sexual self-control, and can make love for hours. Well, with a proper amount of alcohol in me, I'm an ordinary minute-man otherwise, so mornings will be "quickies".
I have herpes. I caught it when I was 19 before anyone knew what it was. I don't see it for years in between now, usually because of heavy stress, and/or poor diet. When it recurs, it's just a single itchy spot of reddened skin, with no blisters. I am non-transmissive when not inflamed, determined by an OSHU study that I participated with in the 80's, and I can't catch it from you if you are also HSV positive. 40% of the human race is immune, determined by the fact that you got a cold sore once, probably as a kid, and never again, and you are safe with us unlucky 60% of the 90% of the human race that has been (or will be) exposed (usually oral, same bug, different location).

I am extremely intelligent, energetic, talented, musical, emotional, loving, almost pathologically faithful once in a relationship, dependant, gregarious, empathic (I feel your pleasure, so tripping your trigger, especially when you go full auto, feels VERY good to me!), and very honest when I can be myself around those who accept me as I am.

This has gotten a bit long, so if you want to know more about me, please write. I will quickly scare away anyone not suited for me, but we will know if we are right for each other rather soon, because you will be as intelligent, psychic, ribald, and as fun to be with as I am!

Thanks for exposing yourself to the real me, have a good day now! ;)

Pictures ...My face shot is current (with 15 more lbs. on my frame, now 6'2", 190 lbs), and my new "Space Navy" bean variety, now in garden trials by the Gurney's Seed company.

I'm sure you will agree with me that while that is a LOT of information, we will all feel a frisson on that day when we finally encounter the Space Navy Bean in the produce section.

Real genius needs help...

Real genius needs help...


I am...

I admit it. I don't know everything, but I know this --- I am a creative genius.

I am stolen from all the time. (If there is anything that I owe, it is for finally having to deal directly with this.)

Believe it or not, I also used to be a model.

Bottom line --- I need someone to lie to me and tell me everything is going to be O.K. (while I'm making it o.k.)

I can also make you o.k. --- I swear it...

You'll never know anyone else like me, for now; and in the future, I'll need you to say "I knew the original". This is no "LTR", once I know of you, I don't forget. You may not know what that means, but - I - won't forget.

My intentions are to provide you a safe life experience, meaning most all exit strategies are calculated. These are decidedly more acceptable than never knowing our world as I imagine.

I will be honest with you.
I will provide you future relationships no one has even invented yet.

Please contact me, and “we'll” plan --- I see a board game, and one of those loose, rough voluntary agreements to refer one another amongst our friends, until we're satisfied…?

A sense of adventure and good looks required.


Do you want to play??

Now, my little hedgehogs, we can all agree that Auntie Jane is an adventurous kind of girl. I'll admit, it's quite intriguing to think of a man who can make everything o.k. and provide me with experiences I never dreamed of. And a safe life experience! Well, that just sounds so cozy and reassuring!

And yet, some faint, far-off alarm bells are ringing in my head....Sigh, what to do?

Looking for a nice girl for my very shy son

Looking for a nice girl for my very shy son

(SPAMMERS WILL BE DELETED W/O BEING READ) I was hoping there is a nice S/W/F girl out there who would be willing to meet up with my son. He is extremely shy and I know he will not do this on his own. He is 23 years old, 5'10 180 N/s social drinker only and works out every day. He has a regular job and his own place but stays very much to himself because he basically grew up with a father/ man image in his life. If you are a kind and gentle female who is looking for a guy who doesn't only have one thing in mind (lol) like most men do, and would like to meet a quiet, kind, thoughtful guy who likes to take his dogs to the park, bowl, just have fun, etc. then let me know and I will share more info with you and his pictures. I would like to know your stats too and also see a picture of you. I was hoping to find someone by 4th of July weekend so that maybe my husband and I and the two of you can all spend the weekend together doing something fun like taking a ride to the mountains or beach and bike ride or raft, camp etc... This is real, so you be too. and let me know if this sounds interesting to you... He doesn't know i am doing this so we will introduce you as a daughter of my new husbands friend and he won't know this is how we found you.

Yeah. That doesn't sound creepy at all...