Dr.Cosmo Getting Real Honest

Darlings...

I know you get fed up with the long, long posts, but sometimes a man is too delicious to pass up. So for this gent, I will highlight what I feel are his most charming utterances for your reading pleasure, and only the most dedicated need read every word. Now, for Dr. Cosmo:

I've been trying this craigslist thing for about two weeks now without much success, trying to be witty, charming, erudite, and just plain strange frankly. SO, I figured I'd just get real and be as honest as I can. I've always said honesty is the best policy, and it's high time I lived up to that.

I really want a mate, my other half, someone who complements my personality type, and I hers. I was faithfully married for 16 years to a woman 11 years older than I, and we recently divorced each other, long after fledging her 3 teens.

I tried another dating site, singlesnet, and got frustrated with being able to "flirt", but not actually getting to talk with someone without paying an enormous fee. When I got email that directed me to several other "free" dating sites, and I got plugged right back into the sign-up page for singlesnet, I got angry and resigned.

Using deception to sell things is just plain wrong. If the sales pitch is hinky, chances are very good the product is as well. And besides, their matching program is flawed, trying to group me with women around my own age, and that just doesn't work for me.

SO, I came across hornymatches, and thought, hmmmmm, well, I can list my preferences, be open about it, and it won't hurt me to say no, and perhaps I might get to say YES! Oh, and the profile pictures are more interesting as well! :) If you found this ad because you saw my hornymatches handle in the header, HI THERE! Now you have a way to reach me without paying an arm and a leg to do anything more than "wink" at me! ;)

There are a surprising number of people like me, wanting a long term relationship, but are frank about the fact that they have a sex drive. They are being honest that it is an important element in wanting a relationship with someone. The whole guy/gal dance is around that central fact, and the rest is just lifestyle preferences, the things that keep you close, or drive you away from that central issue.

Getting real here. I lied on that site. I am NOT 46 as listed, I'm actually 55. I come from a very slow to age and long-lived genetic stock, and when most people learn of my age, they compare me to ordinary people, that are nearly dead, sickly, and used up at my current chronological age, and I'm just getting started! I didn't put my age in the banner, because you might think I was "normal" and too old for you without checking me out first.

I won't start to sag and wrinkle for another 10 or 15 years, and if my ancestors are any indicator of my future, I will live strong and healthy well into my 80's, and begin to wilt in my 90's, if I don't get killed first slamming my motorcycle into a car running a red light, or my reserve parachute fails to open.

Most of my successful long term relationships have been with older women, because women hit their sexual peak at a much later age than guys (and then they decline as their hormones do). I need someone younger than me now, because I'm still horny as hell, I will be for some time to come, and I want kids.

Being older gives me perspective, knowledge, skills, and a more settled emotional structure, that doesn't need to be insecure or jealous. AND I know every sensual spot on a woman, some she doesn't even know exists! Being trained by older women has advantages! :)

My goal is to find and be with my one true love, and if you want to get closer to me, that should be your goal as well. I am willing to take the test drive, you wouldn't buy a car without doing so, why chose a life partner going into it blind?

Facts: I am arrow straight and large, not a porn star monster, but big enough that there are places I can't go now. There are no virgins in my future, I do NOT like to cause pain! Anal is pretty much out of the question as well, just too damn painful for anyone without a medical problem in that area, and NO, I will NOT send you a picture!

I have mastered sexual self-control, and can make love for hours. Well, with a proper amount of alcohol in me, I'm an ordinary minute-man otherwise, so mornings will be "quickies".
I have herpes. I caught it when I was 19 before anyone knew what it was. I don't see it for years in between now, usually because of heavy stress, and/or poor diet. When it recurs, it's just a single itchy spot of reddened skin, with no blisters. I am non-transmissive when not inflamed, determined by an OSHU study that I participated with in the 80's, and I can't catch it from you if you are also HSV positive. 40% of the human race is immune, determined by the fact that you got a cold sore once, probably as a kid, and never again, and you are safe with us unlucky 60% of the 90% of the human race that has been (or will be) exposed (usually oral, same bug, different location).

I am extremely intelligent, energetic, talented, musical, emotional, loving, almost pathologically faithful once in a relationship, dependant, gregarious, empathic (I feel your pleasure, so tripping your trigger, especially when you go full auto, feels VERY good to me!), and very honest when I can be myself around those who accept me as I am.

This has gotten a bit long, so if you want to know more about me, please write. I will quickly scare away anyone not suited for me, but we will know if we are right for each other rather soon, because you will be as intelligent, psychic, ribald, and as fun to be with as I am!

Thanks for exposing yourself to the real me, have a good day now! ;)

Pictures ...My face shot is current (with 15 more lbs. on my frame, now 6'2", 190 lbs), and my new "Space Navy" bean variety, now in garden trials by the Gurney's Seed company.

I'm sure you will agree with me that while that is a LOT of information, we will all feel a frisson on that day when we finally encounter the Space Navy Bean in the produce section.

Real genius needs help...

Real genius needs help...


I am...

I admit it. I don't know everything, but I know this --- I am a creative genius.

I am stolen from all the time. (If there is anything that I owe, it is for finally having to deal directly with this.)

Believe it or not, I also used to be a model.

Bottom line --- I need someone to lie to me and tell me everything is going to be O.K. (while I'm making it o.k.)

I can also make you o.k. --- I swear it...

You'll never know anyone else like me, for now; and in the future, I'll need you to say "I knew the original". This is no "LTR", once I know of you, I don't forget. You may not know what that means, but - I - won't forget.

My intentions are to provide you a safe life experience, meaning most all exit strategies are calculated. These are decidedly more acceptable than never knowing our world as I imagine.

I will be honest with you.
I will provide you future relationships no one has even invented yet.

Please contact me, and “we'll” plan --- I see a board game, and one of those loose, rough voluntary agreements to refer one another amongst our friends, until we're satisfied…?

A sense of adventure and good looks required.


Do you want to play??

Now, my little hedgehogs, we can all agree that Auntie Jane is an adventurous kind of girl. I'll admit, it's quite intriguing to think of a man who can make everything o.k. and provide me with experiences I never dreamed of. And a safe life experience! Well, that just sounds so cozy and reassuring!

And yet, some faint, far-off alarm bells are ringing in my head....Sigh, what to do?

Looking for a nice girl for my very shy son

Looking for a nice girl for my very shy son

(SPAMMERS WILL BE DELETED W/O BEING READ) I was hoping there is a nice S/W/F girl out there who would be willing to meet up with my son. He is extremely shy and I know he will not do this on his own. He is 23 years old, 5'10 180 N/s social drinker only and works out every day. He has a regular job and his own place but stays very much to himself because he basically grew up with a father/ man image in his life. If you are a kind and gentle female who is looking for a guy who doesn't only have one thing in mind (lol) like most men do, and would like to meet a quiet, kind, thoughtful guy who likes to take his dogs to the park, bowl, just have fun, etc. then let me know and I will share more info with you and his pictures. I would like to know your stats too and also see a picture of you. I was hoping to find someone by 4th of July weekend so that maybe my husband and I and the two of you can all spend the weekend together doing something fun like taking a ride to the mountains or beach and bike ride or raft, camp etc... This is real, so you be too. and let me know if this sounds interesting to you... He doesn't know i am doing this so we will introduce you as a daughter of my new husbands friend and he won't know this is how we found you.

Yeah. That doesn't sound creepy at all...

Daughter wanted - m4w - 60

Daughter wanted - m4w - 60

At this point in life I would like to create a legacy to leave on Earth.

After 20 years of working to improve my health and those around me..(great success with myself but little success with others).

10 years of working to improve the world - environment, socially, emotionally.

What I want to do is create with a young woman a paradise on 2.5 acres preferable surrounded by like minded people in a community. A small house, two (maybe cob) a garden, a woodlands, a fruit orchard, green fence, green house etc. The woman (you?) can use the property to attract a prince and start a family. Me, I get to live out my life on the land and be naturally buried on the land (perhaps be reincarnated as a descendant of you and your prince.)

Sound strange - just please move on.

Sound intriguing please read the ringing cedar series of
Anastasia books.

If this resonants with you please respond with how this idea resonants with you.

Thank you.

As our beloved Plumcake recently said, "Princesses are real estate deals with ovaries attached." Ok, being a princess usually means owning a bitchin' tiara, but dang. Is it really worth it to be trapped out in BFE with a creepy old dude?



Ok, maybe in this economy...

Mail Order Bride wanted

Mail Order Bride wanted- 47

Seeking younger woman (age 20 or so) with one daughter (age two or so). Is ok to want more kids as I love kids. Divorced very nice business owner seeks a life again after wife left (after 23 years and three kids) for greener pastures. Large comfy home and very stable environment in the suburbs for the little one. Club membership with pool year round, summer local pool access and way more. Two High School boys at home ages 14 and 16 - great kids. Please message me if you are around the age (give or take) that I seek and willing to be a faithful wife. I always wanted a girl but got all boys. Slender to average is preferred - no heavyweights. This is available RIGHT NOW. Hope to hear from you soon - picture appreciated.

Um. Weirdly specific much? Auntie's a little creeped out now. Let's you and me go to a happier place.





Oh yeah. That's better.

I post a lot not munipulate or hard-up

I post a lot not munipulate or hard-up I am just a good guy, for real - 53




Yes i can imagine the trash male and female which comes across the internet
And it hurts good guys such as my self an old army veteran who served
for a free nation

People are and must be cautious of the stuff which is out there in internet
space

I am however a for real person

You know 30 years ago if you said hello ladies call me and lets go do coffee the phone
would be ringing of the table

Or if you said you were as friendly and had a heart as big as Hoss Cartwright who
played on the Western Bananza, those return emails would be zipping right through the
OLE personal computers

But now days It is 360 degrees different people blocking you, people saying I am
not interested

It is just amazing how the internet system has changed and how it has really
gotten very difficult to meet new friends via the PC

But i must drive on and persue the opportunity to meet new friends now that
i have relocated to the west coast here in vancouver, washington

so here goes

Hello there

My name is Steve Miller from Vancouver, and I do live in Vancouver and I am 53 years old with a birthday of Feb 22.

I am not afraid to leave you with my phone number (edited, 'cause dude.)

I am armed forces retired and I am a blue collar worker in Portland (local truck driver)refered to a transfer driver where I take a rent-a-truck or tractor to a customer or another rent-a-truck branch.

It is day shift unless I go on a over nighter, ususally have weekends off, pretty good gig for a army retired guy.

I am built like Hoss Cartwright from the western bananza
probably have more hair on top and I wear a ball cap where he wore a cowboy hat; however the build is the same so if you can not remember what Hoss Looked Like then ask a friend or you could watch a re-run smile lol.

I wear my hair short by choice and have no beard or mustache
by choice and I am a blue jean and pull over or front up button shirt, loafer wearing guy.

I am Low Keyed, spontanious, good listener, but bad eye contact
type of guy, but working on it

I do like doing most of the basics.

I do not abuse alcohol and do not smoke cigerettes or dope, but please feel free to smoke around me but please do not smoke dope around me, but that does not disqualifie you as a new friend if you do smoke pot I know many our age do.

I at 53 like to cuddle, hold hands and sit across from you at the coffee shopand talk and cut up.

I was born in Vancouver and was away for 33 years and came back to be nearer my 81 year old mother I don't live with her
I have a place of my own but that is why I relocated from the south back hear to where I was born.

Please feel free to keep in contact and add me as a friend

Thanks Steve Miller Vancouver

Ok, y'all, I know it's not real likely to be THE Steve Miller, since this dude claims not to be a midnight toker. But your Auntie Jane's gonna give him a call just in case. And if it is him, she's gonna take the money and run. Woo woo woo.

Need the help from a Very Attractive Female

Need the help from a Very Attractive Female

My wife of almost 20 years has decided that she no longers wants to be married. We have 3 sons and she has run off to sow her wild oats. However we both have face book accounts and she is still listed as my friend. What I am looking for is a Beautiful woman who would be willing to invite me to be your friend on facebook so when my, what ever you would like to refer to her as, (she thinks she is a cougar) looks at my friend list she sees you and wonders who you are. If you are not willing to do this I understand but I would love for her to think that it took me no time at all to find a women that was more Beautiful than her.

I am waiting for your response with a picture

Oh, this modern love, with the Facebook and the Twitter and the Sexting and that thing with the person...oh, that monkey's gonna pay.

Ahem. Never fear, Auntie is here to help. This is the lovely Vera Krasikova. She is 25 and lives in Kiev. She is also single! Perhaps you can write to her, c/o the E-Russian Bridess Agency, and suggest that she will reach a larger volume of eligible American men with a Facebook account. It's a win-win situation for both of you!