Tuesday, April 6, 2010

I am saving a place at the table for you : ~) - 57 (SW Burbs ONLY)

I am saving a place at the table for you : ~) - 57 (SW Burbs ONLY)

Throughout history many have said, “Confession is Good for the Soul”. (((LOL))) … However whoever started that saying, has never posted a personal ad on CL before, as that activity can often be compared to a Person Death Wish, … so don’t expect anything too deep here from me (((LOL))).

Furthermore … let’s all start with a valuable piece of communication. If you read an ad that really isn’t asking for you; almost by name, please move on quietly as that writer just did you a favor by not wasting your time.

~~~ Things That May or May NOT Work For Me Are ~~~

[ ] If you are NOT naturally happy, healthy and funny; because I am, … do us both a favor ~ Go Away!

[ ]
If you are wearing granny panties RIGHT NOW, have ever owned more than One Pair of Birkenstocks at any one time or “Smiled Warmly” when someone used the term: BBW (need I really say what that actually means to the guys) while describing you, … that clearly speaks volumes … Go Away!

[ ] If you have ever told anyone; with Great Pride, that you might have prepared for 6-wks. before taking a simple on the spur of the moment trip up to Seattle for possibly just a 3-day weekend … Just Go ~ Go Away and please stop talking about how you simply love the beach, traveling … etc!

[ ] If you live on the eastside of the Willamette River and/or within Portland City limits, … Go Away!

[ ] If are just too darn old and slow to ever happily climb up onto the back of a nice motorcycle with a smile; that is not my fault, … Go Away, … don’t look back, and may you soon be remembered by your friends and family well at your upcoming passing with a nice smile!

[ ]
If you think that being asked to be the next Bingo Captain/Caller on Wednesday nights at the local church is something to look forward to in life, … Please go Away; as I will never be that old!

[ ] If you thought it was Progressively cool; and very~very trendy too, to join the second-coming of the Jim Jones Democrap Family party in Washington DC … you are on your own in my opinion (((LOL)))!!!

[ ]
If; just to add a little more, you haven’t earned your place at the table, … and you can only live within a world where the Obamanation has to cut the legs off of honest, hard working Americans so you can be “seen” as their equal … that is really pathetic! Q: Why should I hand you ½ of my earnings; via your party’s abusive taxes, while you pay nothing at all, while pretending that your progressive socialism is what made America great. Keep in mind, we both have a right to be Free Americans; to do our very best everyday and nothing more. However that does not mean that you have the right to stick your hand in my pocket just whenever you feel like it ~ Get it!

Well, … there is more; there is (((always))) more when it comes to me, and yet the above should get the conversation going. The usual appropriate NONs apply and (((No PIC/ No Chat))) is required too.
As for the 95% or more of those that this ad does not speak; directly, to keep your chin up, your heart open and don’t stop looking, as there is hopefully someone out there for you too. Take care : ~)
Dude, I just don't even...I mean, I bet you're all hairy and dandruffy and fallout-sheltery, and fuck, man, you're making me feel all Holden Caulfield over here. And that is not a good look at my age.

Why do all the good guys finish last??? - 22 (Salem)

I mean exactly what I say, why do we finish last as nice guys. When did it become not cool to comment on how nice a lady looks or open the door for her, or fall asleep talking to her on the phone. This is me in a nutshell. I see couples walking around all the time with the boyfriend being a complete douchebag. I don't get it. Yeah i'm not the best looking guy in the world, but i put forth the effort to make sure that you're happy. My name is Jason, and my friends say I try to be the asshole but deep down in the teddy bear. Bad boy? Yes. Good guy? Yes. I would like to think that i'm a combination of all personalities. Fun, happy, sad, mad, ecsentric, outgoing, shy, whatever. Look i'm not here to make myself out to be the best. But i will try my hardest. I love all kinds of music, Fall Out Boy, Manu Chou, Rocky Horror Picture Show, i could go on but i could go forever.....that's what she said! Anyways i love to go out and experience something new everyday, whether its a different way home or just doing my job differently. I like to go get the occasional drink at the bar or sit in my backyard with a beer and a smoke. Yes i smoke cigerettes, although i am 420 friendly as well. Anyways, if you wanna know more, i am an open book so just ask, i just wanna meet someone who is chill and relaxed, who likes to go out or stay under the covers and cuddle. That wont judge me. That laugh alot and just be themselves. AND PLEASE PUT IN YOUR SUBJECT LINE WHAT YOUR FAVORITE BAND IS PLEEEEASE

Kids, your Auntie was a child in Salem. And it was a glorious place to be a child-- wonderful parks, libraries, safe streets to play.... I moved away when I was eleven.

Whenever I meet someone who grew up there they always say "Yeah, there's just nothing to do but beer and meth." So that's why you're finishing last, Jason. YOU'RE IN FUCKING SALEM. And we won't even mention the doucheface. Go Away!


  1. YAY! Auntie Janey is the best .../...

  2. not to mention his hair. he could knit a sweater. *shudder*

    there is a total DB posting on the Raleigh CL multiple times daily. I need to send you one of his posts. At least he started using a new photo today. I think he got a haircut.

  3. also, falling asleep on the phone with a lady is NOT a plus. It leads the lady to suspect that you lack the stamina to get through other activities without falling asleep.

  4. You know how to pick the wieners/whiners/winners, Auntie Janie. Not to mention WTFF, you type like a twelve year old girl which is fine IF you're a 12 year old girl, but you're a 57 year old "man" looking for a date? Come on. There's thinking young, and then there's thinking fucking delusional. Guess which one you are!

    Oh, and Jason: nice pic, drunk is a good look for you, and with that hair, you're going to get a lot of mail from 420 friendly bears - the kind you find in San Francisco, not in the woods outside of Salem. A young person should have goals: substituting moving out of your mom's basement for being bicurious would be an auspicious start.

  5. The last guy could have replaced his ad with "I'M UNDER 50 AND I WEAR A FEDORA."