Monday, August 31, 2009

Jesus Man - 29 (In the middle of your heart!)

I love Jesus! I love Children, and I love toms! Especially Gray Toms!!!!! Seriously. Jesus is amazing! PTL for Toms, and My life is children. Youth ministry all the way!

Listen, ducks, your Auntie Jane has a confession. I did not have the faintest idea what a Gray Tom was when it was at home. First my mind went, as it so often does, to pussy...

Then to some weird sex act that I couldn't quite picture, possibly involving a sootikin...

But when I couldn't find anything on, I heaved my mind out of the gutter and realized it was a shoe.

Thanks for getting me all worked up over nothing, Jesus Man!

Also, while google-imaging for a good Jesus-suffering-the-little-brats figurine, I discovered that you can buy all sorts of goodies for the Jesus Man in your life at My Special Place. Jesus...My Special Place...hmm, haven't seen
The Exorcist in a while...

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Want Your Cure before the New Depression Blues? Try out Country Carl - 45

Want Your Cure before the New Depression Blues? Try out Country Carl

WOMEN I have been through - You can google me up
under COUNTRY CARL or go to CountryCarl dot Com
to see more Photos

You can also use the E-mail address on the Web Site

1) No dunken melancholy drama queens who go to court

2) No sleepless druggies who's friends never leave

3) No more than one small car load of kids

4) No wrecking my car or giant mystery dents

5) No hammering my credit cards

6) No pets that won't be friends

7) No partying while I sleep

8) No chain smokers unless you have a humongous fan

9) No collect calls

10) NO YOU can't go ON The ROAD

YES I'm a singer/songwriter and you don't have to
love my music but it is really a good idea to know some of the lyrics
and the names of a few of the songs.

Ladies, Country Carl is the living embodiment of our cultural zeitgeist. If your Auntie Jane weren't currently so busy with the younguns, she'd be all over this fine recession-proof man. Just listen to his song stylings...

Friday, August 7, 2009

Lasagne As A Lubricant - 52

Let your imagination run wild.......I did it- I said it- I meant it- and I'd do it again.....I am an unabashed pasta-a-phile........To heck with walks on the beach- and holding hands in public...That's a bunch of rubish......I utilize Gods given flavors as a reason to roll over- and pooch your hips up- and take it like an Italian(although I'm full Irish-American)........There are SO many things you can do with a noodle.......You can bake it- baste it- paste it- then masticate it.........Left-overs never had it so good.......So if you want to post your fluffy/sappy/whiney self absorbed diatribes on CL hoping to zero in on your incomplete love-list- along with your pre-conceived notions of what "love" is- and your unrealistic expectations of what it takes to win your affections- simply because you've been given a V-shaped patch of fur- then go right ahead.......But if you're looking for "pasta love" - Then look no further....Nothing says "love" like Lasagne.........And to then willingly- and gleefully attend to each other in this most culinarial manner- is to experience that which has yet to be iterated to the masses.........I hope to be a "beacon for sneakin'"- that which is usually left for the following day - In short - I believe Lasagne has many more utilizations than has ever before been considered.....And so I ask you to consider this - I am yours for the bakin'(I mean- "takin'")..........Anyways - Let no Lasagne be left unbunned.......Nothing feels as tintilating as a smack on the back-side- which has been previously slathered with lasagne.....And with that- I'll leave you to your imagination - I know I've got mine......Your pic will certainly accentuate that which I've just intimated.........Bye for now, Lazarus Latimure Lasagmier

Oooh, baybee... I had a little Italian in me last night, and i wouldn't mind doing it again...

Here's my picture:

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Awww. Mr. Douchebag!

BRIGHT EYES is giving me a headache-Aritst Wants Muse (Studio of Art)

'Let's Get Lost' ~Chet Baker

This is for the Females who Know...nuff said...

I have been posting on the 'Men Seeking Women' CL for quite some time. But, I have finally figured out what type of woman that I want. I have tried the serious approach and the humorous side of things. I'm throwing out the humor for the serious (for this post). You and I will live the NYC, SAN FRAN, PARIS, BERLIN lifestyle to the tenth degree. How does that sound? Good? Good!

You must be into the ARTS, and you will have that chic/hip/styish vibe going Shannyn Sossoman, Sade, Audrey, Lisa Bonet (post Cosby), and of course part skater chick, part sosphistication. I DON'T want the 'white trash' getting lost thing, I'm too much of a snob for that (my own kind of snobbery). It's the Drugstore Cowboy, My Own Private Idaho, Midnight Cowboy type vibe going on here. Existential, Philosophical, with wit and Intelligence and beauty thrown into one big MAD ride.

Thrift store chic, with Highbrow ideals and ideas. You with me so far? If you're the 'right' chick, you know what I'm talking about. You have seen it in the Foreigin/Indie Films, or have lived it, or fantasized about living it. BUT, this is NO fantasy, this will be real. Do you want to get 'LOST?'

Think of The Cure's 'Pornography' album, Christian Death's first album, the Doors first album, The Swans, and the Velvet Underground. And we'll throw in some Miles, Parker, Coltrane, Massive Attack, Ambient Groove etc.

Intimacy is a must for this relationship to work. Intimacy in the way of trust, loyalty, sincerity, and empathy.

It's not about the next fix, it's about reaching the ethereal heights that THIS life has to offer. BLISS...without Heaven. Back to the womb. Go back to the water where we came from...

This is not the hippie way, this is the Hardcore way. Hardcore Ivy League with Street smarts.

Hi, Mr Douchebag! Good to see you again! Still no luck finding the model/muse/genius with no critical thinking skills of your dreams? I'm sorry, baby. I'll say a little prayer for you the next time I'm in the adorably freckled arms of my 24 year old Spanish/Norwegian banker loooovair...kiss kiss!