Saturday, February 21, 2009

The return of Auntie Jane

Hellooooooo, goslings! Your Auntie has just returned from an extended stay at a Turkish Prison glamorous Health Spa for marital aid smuggling a Rest Cure. I had such a lovely time, and got to know my guard valet Husamettin rawther well.

Anywho, back to the men!

Emotional cripples apply here!!!

Do you lack basic social skills? Are you incapable of caring for anyone but yourself? Did you not graduate high school and currently hold a dead end job? Or are you an "artist" who spends his almost 40 year old days in coffee shops working on the next "great American novel" or updated version of "howl"? Do you have an unhealthy relationship with your family (especially if this applies to your father). Do you attempt to disguise your failings behind a facade of physical health? Do you only date men who meet the current standard of success and begin all relationships with the predication that he be "cool/macho"? Can you not recite the alphabet and do you want to get more than you give on every level? Then talk to me. Because evidently I am a magnet for all of that. You just might get lucky with a man who is: overqualified for nearly everything; has a degree, works hard and has solid values; is well read and intelligent... but tends to attract women who are sorely lacking in all areas of social grace and integrity. So bring it on. C'mon, what do you have to lose? You aren't doing anything anyway.

PS Please live close in NE or SE Portland since your car in constantly IN THE SHOP so I don't have to drive all over town to pick you up.

Ooooh, lovey, is Auntie the right girl for you! I'll be right over with my vacation snaps!

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